One time I remember feeling like an insider but an outsider at the same time was when I attended a Jewish worship with my girlfriend. I felt honored that she offered to let me in on such an important part of her cultural identity, so I felt like an insider, but when I got to the service I felt like a complete outsider. Everyone was singing in Hebrew that I couldn't understand and had memorized many songs that I had never heard in my life. Jewish services are highly centered around music and I really wanted to participate, but I also didn't want to embarrass myself with phonetic Hebrew.
Music has always been a large part of my identity. I dress in shirts of the bands that I listen to, I try to look like a "rocker" I guess you could say. Whenever I am feeling emotional, I write music. Its my way of getting things off my chest. After I write a song I feel noticeably better about whatever I was upset about, partially because it distracts me from my problems and partially because it allows me to vent my feelings. If I did not have music in my life, I think I would be a terribly unhappy person. It has spiritual value that cannot be underestimated.
Music is always more of an experience than a sound no matter what context you are speaking of. If I started playing my guitar and singing on the side of the road, eventually people would stop and listen, maybe if I'm lucky they will throw money in my guitar case. As soon as people stop to listen, music becomes an event instead of a sound. Perfect example of this is any concert you go to. I like going to metal shows because everyone collectively vents anger. The mosh pit is not simply people beating on each other for fun, its people helping other people vent frustration. People may intensly push one another in the pit, but as soon as someone falls down there will be at least 4 people that jump in immediately to lift him off the ground and back to his feet so that he does not get hurt. Then he gets right back to the action. In a way, the mosh pit is the perfect way to enjoy a concert. The point I am trying to make is that no matter what you listen too, there will always be certian practices or rituals associated with that sound. Metal and punk have the mosh pit. If you listen to reggae, you'll probably light up a joint (not saying I do that kind of thing). The power of music is inspiring.